Manc/ouver

Kidnap latest: Cops suspect butcher

2010-03-24T03:42:00.000-07:00

Battleship (a ballad)

2010-03-23T09:56:00.000-07:00

(Sung to whatever tune is in your head right now)

You try and try
To win my heart
Each clumsy attempt
A disgrace
A guessing game
In no small part
No strategy
So out of place

C4 you miss
F3’s a hit
But you’ll never sink
My Battleship
My Battleship

Destroyers yes
My subs can go
Boats, vessels
Short and long
Bu my heart’s safe
I surely know
My ship’s
Defences strong

C4 you miss
F3’s a hit
But you’ll never sink
My Battleship
My Battleship

Small skirmish won
You think you’re in
But let me tell you now

My Battleship
Still sails quite proud
You’ll never know just how

C4 you miss
F3’s a hit
But you’ll never sink
My Battleship
My Battleship
My Battleship
My Battleship

A modern love affair

2010-03-22T12:32:00.000-07:00

Deer Jewel Yet

Ur sell a steel boot tea iz wid mi evry way king mo' men,
2 gays up on u 4 a 2nd iz 2 liv a life time,
U r mi 1, mi own lee, mi evry fin
Mi <3 iz urs all ways

Urs 4 evr
Luv
Roam Yo

By way of explanation

2010-03-20T08:11:00.000-07:00

My regular reader (there must be at least one out there) may have noticed that of late this page has taken an interesting turn.

It seems writing about day to day life in White Rock wasn't as easy as I predicted it would be. Strangely, there isn't something unique to post every day - no sightings of syrup oozing from the maple tree like engine oil, sunlight caught refracting in a sugary rainbow.

Neither do I spot a lone (and lonely) bull moose atop the promontory, head thrown back in a mournful rutting call, desperate for the fleeting companionship of a female.

So I set myself a challenge. To write in a different style each day, using for inspiration random words thrown at me by colleagues, friends and acquaintances. You may have read the Ode written with only the word 'flannel' to work with, the first page of the pulp fiction about the 'grumpy bowling cowboy', the job ad for 'mermaids' or yesterday's obituary to 'Felicity'.

I give myself a very strict 15 minutes in which to complete the task, and find it quite an interesting way to keep the old grey matter ticking over.

So come on, give me the most random word you can think of (I have the styles of writing on a list I made). I'll then randomly match your word to something on my list and we can judge the result (the job ad was a bit rubbish, for example).

Maybe this is all about the nature of randomness, maybe I just couldn't maintain an interesting enough 'normal' blog. Who knows? But this is where the journey is going now, come with me, we'll have a laugh.

SHARP, Felicity

2010-03-19T15:44:00.000-07:00

SHARP, Felicity
(June 9th 1937 - March 19th 2009)

It is with deep sadness that the family of Felicity Sharp (neé Niedl) announce her passing of natural causes in the early hours of Friday morning. It was the way she would have liked to have gone, a glass in her hand, in front of the shopping channel.

She leaves a loving daughter Ju, and a son Steve, and grandchildren Beth (18) and Joe (13). Born in Potsdam, Germany, and fleeing the Nazi regime (smuggled in a barrel of flour to Toronto in 1940 by her parents), Felicity spent 5 years in the St. Robert's the Unfortunate orphanage, before being adopted by fellow emigrees Wolfgang and Scharf Niedl. Moving to Saskatoon at the age of 15, she maintained her first job, as a waitress in Donna's Roller Diner, until she retired in 2002, proud of her standing as Saskatchewan's oldest ever server.

She will be remembered by all who knew her as permanently smiling and never short of an opinion to go with the coffee, with an ever-ready twirl on her skates and a twinkle in her eye.

Memorial service - 3.30pm Tuesday 23rd March, St. Stephen's Pentecostal, Saskatoon (roller skates optional, but preferred. No roller blades permitted)

No flowers, all donations to the Retired Rollers Foundation, c/o Ju Sharp

Help wanted

2010-03-19T02:17:00.000-07:00

Wanted:

One female employee to help with maritime position

Must be comfortable with body (upper half only)

Proven experience of the ability to make others forget themselves a necessity

Misandry a welcome addition

Must like fish

Position open due to last employee running away with Tom Hanks

(What was the word of the day? Thanks @R0bF)

In the beginning....

2010-03-18T04:57:00.000-07:00

'Awwww sheeeet c'mon, man,' he drawled as the last pin teetered, but did not fall, 'Y'all gotta be kiddin me. That sumbitch is glued down, I swear.'

Tipping his Stetson back and scratching his forehead like a seven-year old trying to divide 7 by 3, he turned away from the one remaining pin and looked at her.

If he was looking for anything approaching sympathy, he soon saw that he wasn't going to find it. The smile playing across her full lips was pure joy at his discomfort.

'Calm down, or you'll end up like Adam's son.'

Her smile got wider as she reminisced about that lost weekend in Ohio, missing the guy's completely nonplussed look.

'Hey! You're up honey.'

Dragging herself back to the here and now, she assumed her usual pre-delivery position, ass wiggling invitingly in her cut off jeans shorts, long tan legs stretching all the way to the top, knowing without looking that every pair of male eyes in the place (and quite a few female, too) would be on her. Only when she knew she was the centre of attention did she bowl, her 5th strike in a row, and before she'd turned round she knew that those eyes would be averted, male superiority quashed. The only people she managed to get a game with were those who hadn't see her bowl, and this guy with the big hat and the attitude had been stupid enough to accept her challenge when she'd been playing the Dumb Blonde 'Please teach me to bowl' routine at the bar.

No wonder he was grumpy, she was taking him for a hundred a game, and she didn't intend letting him off lightly. There was something she just didn't like about him. It may have been his alpha male attitude, or his accent, or his checked shirt, she couldn't put her finger on it.

What she did know was that she was gonna ridicule this cowboy for as long as she could be bothered, then invite him back to her room and kill him in a more painful and humiliating way than any of the others. This was going to be special.

Ode To Flannels

2010-03-17T06:32:00.000-07:00

Thanks (I think) to @laserlid for her 'inspiration':

Ode To Flannels

O tiny squares
From where do you come?
From what cloth are you cut?
Purpose unknown

O tiny squares
The reason you are is muddy
From whence I find you is unclear
That my face you clean

O tiny squares
My bathroom you adorn
You have friends there
Yet are lonely

Today I tried something new

2010-03-09T13:58:00.000-08:00

It was Clam Chowder.

I liked it (could have done with some pepper).

10 billion tweets and all I got was a lousy #tag

2010-03-05T02:20:00.000-08:00

OK, I'm just going to come out and admit it.

Silly Twitter trends engage me. They make me think.

Thing is, I only just noticed today with the #foodmovies hashtag. I just found it totally engrossing. In a 'I shouldn't really be doing this, but I just can't seem to help myself', guilty pleasure, rubber-necking at a car crash type of way. I came up with some fairly decent ones - Fifty First Dates, The da Vinci Cod, V for Viennetta, and my favourite, Bambi (think about it....keep going...aaaaaand you're there) .

But I couldn't stop there. 28 Leeks Later, Spamglish, Corn Air, I could go on.

Smore of the Worlds (only good for North Americans), The Codfather. OK, OK, I hear you screaming and tearing your scratching your eyes out so you don't see any more.

Lord of the Prawn Rings, Men Who Stare At Goat Curry, Reservoir Hot Dogs. I'll stop.

But the point is, they are just the ones that I thought of. There were thousands of these things. And it didn't even trend!

And that wasn't even the only one today. There was #celebritycondoms earlier - things like Phil Collins' Easy Lover. Best I could come up with was the Hokey Cokey (you know...in, out, in, out, you shake it all about [sorry Mum/Mrs. Tom/everybody I know]).

I didn't get involved in that one. Probably for the best.

My addiction can only get worse from here though. What's next? I think you can put any two (short) words together, and if enough people pick it up, you're away. #pornsongs anyone? (see Hokey Cokey for details) **EDIT - since I started writing this #boobmovies has begun. I ask you! (still put one in - Bra Wars, for the record)***

But what's the point? For the elusive RT? To make someone LOL? To show everyone just how darned clever you are? (It might be that one) And who cares at the end of the day? Twitter passed 10 billion Tweets today. How many of them were entirely pointless oneupmanship?

The Codfather...what is wrong with me?

My name's Tom, and I'm a Trendaholic.

So yeah, I had a makeover

2010-03-04T20:16:00.000-08:00

It wasn't the best look was it? So I started again. Still probably not ideal, so any advice, hints, guidance on dealing with Blogspot, be my guest.

The Twitter feed seems to have shrunk, and it looks too much like a page from The Times. Trying to strike a happy medium. And failing.

Anyone fancy earning a fiver and sorting it out?

How many Twitter follows is too many?

2010-03-04T02:38:00.000-08:00

Not followers, but follows. The people who you are meant to be interested in.

I find myself more and more these days getting lost in Twitter trails of people I follow (a measly 361 at the time of writing), wishing I could stop, but pressing on in case I miss something. I got the junk food addiction.

So what's the proper Twetiquette (sorry!) for ensuring you can have a life away from Twitter? I have to say that I by no means place myself as a 'Social Media Guru' - these are just some things I have noticed.

It's polite to do a reciprocal follow (I'm @tomhall14 by the way, if you need another follower), but if you quickly realise this person isn't for you, unfollow them. Yes, you might lose a follower (and nobody likes it when that magical number goes down), but was that connection actually of any use at all? To either of you?

Manage your list - be ruthless. If somebody hasn't said anything worthwhile, useful or engaging (or anything at all) for, say, two weeks, cut them and find someone more interesting.

So how many is too many?

Is it when you can't keep up with everybody's Tweets?

Is it when you can't reply to all your DMs?

Is it when you don't sleep for fear of missing out on the next big meme? (I had no idea Balloon Boy was until the next morning)

Much as Tweeting vs Blogging is a case of striking the right balance, managing your Twitter followers seems to me to be the same. Useful people - keep them. People you know in *actual real life* - keep them too. The rest? Ditch 'em.

Am I right?

So who won the Olympics?

2010-03-02T02:40:00.000-08:00

Not that it actually matters to anyone - well no one who lives north of the particular border I live near - but who *actually* won the Winter Olympics?

Common sense, history and the actual rules seem to point to the host nation. Canada won most Golds, more than any nation has ever won, and 'beat' the States into 3rd place. That's 3rd place. The BBC agrees, the IOC has such an boondongle of a site that I couldn't even find the table (truly awful), but the offical pages give it to the States on quantity. I always thought that the winningest (I loathe that word - a true Americanism) team in terms of Gold should be top, but clearly not.

It seems that the winning country has been the team with the most medals by weight. So the States won a total of 37, Canada 26, sandwiching the 30 of Germany (where did they sneak up from?).

A dilemma, but one which won't keep me awake too much, I suspect, because I know the answer. No one country 'won' this Olympics. If anyone won it was the people of Vancouver, Canada and the world for coming together to celebrate athleticism at it's very best (except some of the downhill skiiers, who truly sucked).

Sport won. The U.S did not. Whatever they say.

Twitter is junk food, blogging is like making a stir fry

2010-02-28T01:08:00.000-08:00

Chatting with the inestimably cool Roland Tanglao the other day about all things social media, mobile tech and Nokia, and he made an analogy that just stuck.

He said Twitter, and Tweeting specifically, is just like junk food, street meat, a dirty hot dog, a guilty pleasure. A quick fix, scratching the itch, making you feel good. For a bit. But, a few minutes (maybe more) later, the itch returns, and you have to go back for more. Are we all addicts? Hooked on RTs, #FFs, @s and replies to questions you wouldn't think of asking in real life?

Blooging, however, requires a commitment, time, preparation, thinking, cerebral exercise (if only to come up with words like cerebral). Roland said it was like making a stir fry. Complicated - chopping vegetables, timing the cooking so they are all done to perfection, deciding at what point to add the meat, adding just the right amount of soy sauce to keep things interesting.

And while I like to Tweet as much as the next man (unless that man is @stephenfry), I actually prefer the more considered approach, time to savour the flavour, not try to cram all the lovely goodness into 140 characters, throw in some extra taste with a picture or two.

So. Are you a junk food addict, or do you prefer to class yourself as a chef? Or is there a balance to be struck between the two?

Canada has most gold medals

2010-02-26T22:05:00.001-08:00

..the end.

Canada pwns Olympics (kind of)

2010-02-25T01:25:00.000-08:00

View the vancouver2010.com medals' table

Well...equal best ever results anyway. Much helped by Gold and SIlver in the 2 man bobsleigh, silver in the 3000m ladies short track relay (almost as mental as Ski/Snowboard Cross) and bronze from Clara Hughes (epic effort, multiple medals in Summer and Winter games)

All this with Aerials, Hockey (men AND women) and some other stuff to come. Looking good for a record-breaking year.

Go Canada Go!

Also, Go Amy Williams representin' TeamGB

Two days, two golds for Canada

2010-02-23T17:40:00.000-08:00

Ice dance won by the youngest ever champions - Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir - and the first for the continent of North America.

Ashleigh McIvor wins Ski Cross. First ever Olympic champion. Not a U.S competitor in sight (almost like they'd dismissed it as a sport altogether!)

So, Canada are only one gold behind the U.S at the time of writing (which is how the IOC measures things after all), and both Hockey teams in contention, both curling teams looking good, the slightly American 'Own the Podium' campaign might still be one the cards. Written off as a brash claim that massively overstated the Canadian team's chances after a couple of days, it's slowly slipping back into conversation. What isn't going to be achieved, though, is the 30 medal target set for the team. There simply aren't enough events left. But can they win the whole competition? Only time will tell.

One final thought: Go Canada Go!

Stereophonics rock BC Place

2010-02-22T01:38:00.000-08:00

Apart from divided anthem loyalties, the *real* reason for getting tickets to last night's medal ceremony (I swear I had no idea I was going to have to sing anthems, other those made famous by a Welsh rock band) was to see if the Stereophonics could lift a Canadian crowd.

I've never seen them live, but the CDs I have - played loud- really, really make me wanna 'rock out'.

Having witnessed the fairly polite, understated country act last week (let's not talk about it), the Stereophonics were the complete opposite. Yes the country dude (Paul Brandt, for anyone counting) had the crowd in the palm of his hand, but they weren't bouncing like they were last night. 10 deep in places where last week they had been politely sitting, applauding (maybe waving the odd Stetson), and singing every word to every song (with no small amount of Welsh flag waving), last night was excellent. Just excellent.

And the Stereophonics were at their best when they were playing pure, loud, unadulterated rock music. Yes, the more subtle numbers showed a range, but once Kelly Jones straps on the axe and strums the first chords of Bartender and the Thief you know you're in for a good time. And ending with Dakota (along with fireworks, streamers and ticker tape) was a fitting end to an excellent hour (all they were allowed before the Canadians had to go to bed - seriously, when have a band of their stature EVER finished a show at 8.30??).

A final note to Kelly. Louder, faster songs and more of them please. And come back soon.

Pics courtesy of Mrs. Tom's supernice (it's a word) friend Katherine

One anthem to unite them

2010-02-21T10:53:00.000-08:00

Another night, another medal ceremony at the frankly huge BC Place in Vancouver.

And last night I got to test my loyalties. Gold for Amy Williams (GB) in the skeleton

...and Gold for John Montgomery (CAN) in the...skeleton.

The ceremonies were in Whistler, and so relayed on the big screens, but that didn't stop me belting out both anthems. Admittedly the first I was alone (in our section anyway), the second I most certainly was not. And here there is something to be said for the nature of the anthems.

Britain's is all about one person, conquering all, being 'glorious' on her own. Canada's is all about the entire country coming together, being 'strong and free' (from the tyranny of Britain, presumably), and as such can unify everyone who lives here. Well I know which one I prefer. Time for a change? I definitely think so. Something that people can get behind, whether they believe in the monarchy or not. Something that glorifies the good points of the country (the rolling countryside, stiff upper lip, nice cups of tea - not the rain, litter and ASBO yoof).

So yes, I sang the British anthem, with an underlying grudging feeling that it didn't celebrate the country of my birth. And then I sang the Canadian one, and looks round at the smiling faces, glassy eyes and clearly 'glowing hearts' of every single person around me getting behind their country in a show of patriotism I have a horrible feeling will 100% not be present in two years' time in London.

The way the British press has knocked these Olympics it's almost like they are trying to prepare the ground for London - 'Well, at least it wasn't as bad as Vancouver'. Fact is, there are always going to be issues - the organising committee can't control the lack of snow, the 'anarchists' who infiltrate a peaceful protest. Let's see what happens in 2012 in London. The challenge was laid down in Beijing, and the baton taken over here in Vancouver, and I can't help but predict that it will be dropped spectacularly in England's capital.

Let's see.

Crosby, Staal and Nash - Golden boys?

2010-02-20T20:19:00.000-08:00

Crosby, Staal and Nash. Three Canadians on the same team. Genius.

Well it would be if they manage to win (Ice) Hockey gold in a few days' time here in Vancouver. The Swiss took them close, and I had a chance to find out just what hockey means to Canadians. Put it this way, I'm glad I learned the anthem for the Gold Medal celebration the other night. It was crazy. And the mood out on the street afterwards? Well, it was 'awesome, man'. There was so much incense being burned, I felt quite relaxed. Wait...it was incense right?

Did I metion a Gold Medal ceremony? Oh yes, I was there when Maelle Ricker got her Gold on. And even though I'm new to the country, I felt a swell of national pride, especially when I tunelessly belted out the anthem I'd secretly been learning since I found out we'd be seeing her collect Gold. And yes, I might have cried a bit. Real men cry. And wear pink.

Maelle Ricker - spinning Gold from straw

2010-02-17T12:24:00.000-08:00

Is she the modern day Rumpelstiltskin? She may well be, because the course that Maelle Ricker won her Snowboard Cross Gold Medal on yesterday is mostly made from...straw.

Yes, it appears that Vancouver, Whistler and Cypress have been so let down by the weather conditions that at this time last year saw the area *buried* under feet and feet of snow that all the Olympic organisers could manage was to craft a course from straw and pack a thin layer of the white stuff on top of that. Crazy.

And conditions don't seem to be favoring the Women in the downhill skiing today, with more wipeouts than a Novice Surfers Convention. Some look painful, but most are just comedy.

Canada's Gold Rush

2010-02-16T18:14:00.000-08:00

OK, so there's only been two to date, but Gold rush fever is hitting the media and the blogosphere (well, Twitter [well, Canadian Twitterers {well, Canadian Twitterers interested in the Olympics...that I follow}]). Alexandre Bilodeau, the moguls guy with the heart-rending story of inspiration, and Maelle Ricker in the Ladies' Snowboard Cross (surely the best winter sport ever invented - can't wait for Ski Cross) have both been crowned Olympic champions and we'll be privileged enough to see Ricker receive her Gold tomorrow at the victory ceremony (note to self learn words to the national anthem).

Some of the bloggers/Twitterers mentioned above have become media celebrities in their own right, scoring invites, freebies and special treatment here there and everywhere. Some are even quoted in the papers, another example of traditional media looking to social media for content. So there's hope for me yet.

You wait ages for a Mountie to show up.....

2010-02-14T14:04:00.001-08:00

....and then this!

Georgian on my mind

2010-02-12T13:20:00.000-08:00

Today's intended light-hearted post has been postponed until tomorrow due to the untimely, tragic and entirely preventable death of Georgian luge competitor Nodar Kumaritashvili.

This will undoubtedly have a serious impact on the coming fortnight's intended frivolities, and cast a dark shadow over the events. And to think that all the steel posts needed were some padding (which would have been entirely brandable), and this death may not have happened.

Tonight's opening ceremony - which should have been a celebration of all things Canadian, happy and joyful - will now be a sombre affair. Maybe the luge competition will be scrapped altogether (this was the last in a series of accidents on a notoriously fast and dangerous track), who knows?

Olympic Hockey - Norway v UBC

2010-02-11T08:34:00.000-08:00

OK, it's not quite the Olympics yet, but last night we saw the Norway team try their luck against the University of British Columbia in a warm up game. First live action hockey I've seen in quite a while.

Apparently the Norwegians had got off the plane only the night before, and so their bodies presumably wondered why they were playing hockey at 6am, but they did well nevertheless. It was close for the first two halves (strangely the Canadians insist I call these periods), but in the third half the Scandinavians turned up the wick and ended up winning 4-1. All 5 goals were scored at the end where we weren't sitting.

Even though this was just a warm up in Abbotsford (a town 75km from Vancouver), there were still about 1000 people there, and there was still a show. During the 2nd half time, some kids threw pizza boxes into the crowd, and FIL Geoff grabbed one, snagging us a free Panago medium pizza (it wasn't in the box - there was a voucher). So that was nice.

As ever, lots more pics here.

Trainspotting

2010-02-10T06:26:00.000-08:00

Today was also the day I got my geek on. The Royal Hudson is a big old steam engine, and came through White Rock with much fanfare. I took pictures (naturally).

There's a full set here for the enthusiasts (went a bit overboard).

Olympic Torch o'clock

2010-02-09T15:55:00.000-08:00

Today was the day the Olympic Torch/Flame came through White Rock. At 6am.

So, bedecked in red Olympic mittens (lovely and warm, but felt about 4 yrs old, and seriously, you can do *nothing* wearing mittens), and red tshirt we trucked up the hill to join the throng in the pre-dawn gloom and chill (thankfully I was wearing mittens). And it was a throng.

There was a buzz of anticipation, fuelled by the 3 floats that came by, complete with blaring music, *very* energetic dancers and MCs who must have been on something to get so excited so very, very early in the morning.

And then came the police, in cars and on motorbikes. And then the torch. It was very cool. Sadly the fact that it was dark, and the subject was moving meant that every single pic I took turned out blurred, but you get the idea from these:

And this one was just plain weird:

There's more (crappy) pics on my Flickr.

Did I mention my mittens?

Sunrise over White Rock

2010-02-09T14:08:00.000-08:00

Because we got up early today, for reasons that will become clear in the next post, we got to see the sun rise. No real need for any more words when you have pictures like these. These are for you, Liz.

1st Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics swag

2010-02-08T20:56:00.000-08:00

So today I was just walking down the street in Vancouver, minding my own business, when this was thrust into my hand.

You know when things are getting close when you start getting random free swag. The Olympic Torch relay is headed our way tomorrow (at 6am!!!!!!), so there should be more (probably Coke-related) junk. Sadly I don't expect any of the stars to be carrying it near us (Seb Coe, Arnie Schwarzenegger, Steve Nash [Google him non-Canucks]), but I'm sure whoever does so will have deserved the honour. Will post pics tomorrow.

Sunset at the office

2010-02-08T17:52:00.000-08:00

You know, life here in White Rock isn't so bad.

Sunset must mean it's time to head for the cocktail cabinet...

Downtown Vancouver Olympic fever

2010-02-07T10:08:00.000-08:00

We took a trip to Downtown Vancouver yesterday (via the bus and the SkyTrain [driverless train in the sky/underground - not scary, no, not at all]) to sample the atmosphere a week before the 2010 Winter Olympics kicks off.

The streets were PACKED, and everyone looked very excited, lots of flushed faces and big smiles, especially at the Sculpture Village (selected photos below and on Flickr). The area around Robson Square seemed the busiest, with lots of activities going on and things to look at. We're definitely returning to see the Da Vinci exhibition (Her Maj has released some drawings from her collection for the first time, so us Provincials can have a gander), and there's something very exciting opening on the 12th that I hope to bring you news of later (don't want to spoil the surprise).

We even managed to get a look at the 'controversial' Austr alian Boxing Kangaroo flag which is on the brink of causing an international incident.

All good, and everything bodes well for the festivities that start next week. Hopefully we'll be able to get down there and mingle with the athletes and visitors from around the globe. The eyes of the world are on Vancouver. Bring it on!

Canucks eagle street sculpture:

Totem:

Lantern forest:

Dragon:

Bear Necessities 2: BooBoo Strikes Back

2010-02-05T14:49:00.000-08:00

I found another! And in the spirit of @ThomJames's excellent comment on yesterday's post, this guy's called BooBoo. Cheeky scamp (the bear, not Thom....although on second thoughts...)

Ever wanted to see a Bear behind? Well look no further...

It's almost like they knew I was coming....

Bear necessities

2010-02-04T16:28:00.000-08:00

Say hello to The Bear. He's pretty cool. I've called him Buster for now, but if you think you have a better name, comment and let me know. It'll be like a competition. With no prize.

I've been keeping him a secret until I could go out and take some snaps. He's just randomly stood next to a bakery. He's not an advert. There is no apparent reason for him to exist.

Also, he's lightweight (easily stealable once detached from the base) and shiny (easy to draw on). But guess what? He hasn't been stolen, drawn on, moved or knocked over. Go figure.

Actually, he looks pretty smug doesn't he? Any suggestions for what he might be saying/thinking?

The hills are alive...

2010-02-03T15:19:00.000-08:00

.... with the sound of twanging hamstrings! Good Lord this place is steep!

I spent 3 years at Uni in Sheffield (City of Steel) and I thought that was steep - in a way that the hills appeared to shift throughout the day. You'd go to lectures - sorry - lecture, and walk for 20 minutes uphill, come out an hour later and walk the same route, also uphill.

White Rock, though, takes it to a whole new level. To walk anywhere involves a near perpendicular assault on a slope that I'm sure could be used as a Winter Olympic ski jump alternative if the snow doesn't arrive. And being the out of shape wheezing mass that I am, it's not easy on the old body. Who needs a gym? Well me, obviously, but I'm seriously considering not bothering and just using the natural contours of the land to exercise.

I know all areas near the ocean end at sea level, but everywhere I've been tends to slope gently down to the water. For White Rock think of a White Cliffs of Dover-style plunge, and you'll know what I'm talking aboot, eh?

Canada rocks because....

2010-02-02T08:08:00.000-08:00

....yesterday I went to a municipal building, you know, the one with all the books. OK, OK, I went and signed up at the library, and not only did I only have to show my passport (not 4 proofs of address and a live verbal testimony from my great-granny), but I did all this at 8.15.

PM!!!

You find me a library (or any council-run building) in the UK that's open until 9PM 3 nights a week AND on Sunday, and I'll buy you a cake. Seriously, the staff presumably are the same as library staff in the UK, BUT will work until 9 without going on strike/demanding danger money.

And on the danger money thing - the library is next door to the police station, and on our way out we passed something you just wouldn't see. Outside there was a police car. Yes, I know, you'd see that! This one had its engine running. And there was no one in it! Last night I had a golden opportunity to joyride a police car, as did everyone else who was passing by. How long would that have lasted in any town in the UK? Setting aside the fact that the police station was actually open with police people inside it. This being Canada, though, it was, and no one stole the car. And that's why Canada rocks.

View from the 1000heads Canadian office

2010-02-01T09:00:00.000-08:00

That water? That's the Pacific. After the islands, there's nothing until China/Russia/Japan (can't remember which comes first). I wake up to this every single day.

Kinda beats a 'Gentlemen's Club' and McDonalds...

Mystère-y Man

2010-01-31T11:15:00.000-08:00

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right?

Well not this.

Picture the scene, we're sat in the 4th row at Mystère, the Cirque du Soleil show at Treasure Island, feeling pretty smug at only having paid 1/2 price for our tickets and getting such great seats. Then, about 2/3 of the way through (which was thoroughly entertaining up until that point in a 'wow, look at that! Where are the safety wires?' type way) the clown character who had been padding while the sets were changed pops up on stage in a box, and makes his way into the audience right near us (his name is Brian Dewhurst, and he's from Manchester! He did a really good job of making me feel at ease in front of maybe 2000 people, thanks Brian, but next time pick on another guy)

Turning to Mrs. Tom, I murmured 'Not me'. Guess who he chose?

So I'm standing on the stage, doing a little can-can routine, when he leads me towards the box, and locks me inside. Which was nice. All I can hear is laughing, and I know something is coming, expecting maybe a custard pie in the face or similar. 5 minutes pass. And then the stage starts to rotate.

And out of the bars at the back of the box I start to see the audience pointing and laughing, waving at me. And I wave back (like a fool). The box moves round more, and what do I see? Mrs. Tom and the clown having a cosy 'meal' in my seat! Champagne (fake), a candle (fake) and a table (also fake). I pointed and laughed (fake). Then I can see no more but hear a chainsaw, and suddenly I'm in the wings, the doors open and a stage hand whispers 'Smile'. Flash. Hands me a badge saying the pic will be on Facebook (thankfully I haven't made it there as of the time of writing), the narrator character grabs me by the hand, and I'm walking across the stage to thunderous applause. RANDOM!

Welcome to Canada - now pay the price!

2010-01-23T07:42:00.000-08:00

No updates for last 24 hours as I paid my entry fee into this vast and amazing country by being struck down by a most heinous bug. I'll spare you the details, but let me assure you if I ever see it, I'll give it a piece of my mind. Currently feeling very weak, dehydrated and achy. But I'm not complaining, no way. If that's the price I have to pay, then so be it. I'd have preferred something less horrible (like wrestling a bear, or drinking a pint of maple syrup), but such is life.

On the M's subject, here are the current scores:
Maple Syrup: 0
Mounties: 0
Moose(s): 0

Next stop: Vegas. Vegas Baby, yeah.

First thoughts, eh?

2010-01-21T20:19:00.000-08:00

We took off, we landed, we got processed, we're here.

I've had my first Tim Horton's (if you know, you know), seen my first eagle, and been for the first of many daily walks along the pier.

There's some a-maze-ing photos of the view from my new 'office', but as my body thinks it's 04:21, I think I'll save that particular torture for you until a later date.